I've been reading this book called "Love is a Choice - Recovery for codependent relationships." It really opened my eyes. Made me take a look at my past.

Right now I'm struggling with a bunch of things, I guess that is why this book was placed in my hands. I feel like I am on my knees, which is pretty good because not too long ago I was flat on my face. I cant seem to stand... I want to because I've never seen myself as being weak or one to give up. I am not giving up. The strength isnt really coming. Words from others sometimes seem to be pushing against me.

Music... what a blessing it is in my life. Sometimes it is the only thing that keeps me from falling off of my knees. Yes it makes me think, often about the past which honestly isnt all that fun, but I honestly think its a good thing.

Fire is something that can be used for purification. Fire burns, I know from personal experience. I'm going through a personal purification and let me tell you its painful. But I think having to go through the pain and possibly relive those things that I would like to permanently forget will make me... whole I guess.
To be whole... that is my goal. I need to be.

Through all this I have noticed the hand of my Heavenly Father in my life. He's allowed certain things to happen. I am so grateful for all of them. And I know it is only through his help that I can acomplish my goal.