After Talking...

Since my last blog I prayed about what I needed to say to Anthony. I got the impression that what I should do is state how I feel, and what I need from him in order for us to just be friends.

So today we talked. It took a while to work up the courage to actually say what I needed to. I told him that the way things were going now is not working. That I cant move on with my life, and that I had feelings for him. I told him that it hurt last time we saw each other and that he acted like nothing had happened, and that it was a big deal for me. So I then told him what I think is going to work for us to be friends. I basically need him to treat me like one of the guys, to not pay for things when and if we go somewhere he doesnt pay and to not open doors or anything like that. That when we do talk its small talk, nothing deep like in the past. I learned that he never felt what I had. He said ok to all of this. So hopefully this will work.

Other time I saw him my feelings were still there, but today... nothing. I actually was a little annoyed with him. I know crazy! I am wondering what it was that made me drawn to him in the first place. I guess when you find out for the first time in your life that someone actually likes you back you automatically are drawn to them. All the qualities that I thought he had that I wanted, I dont see in him anymore. Basically I think I can safely say that I DO NOT have feelings for him.

It feels SO good to actually say it and mean it! I feel like this big weight has been lifted. This feeling of not feeling anything for him is absolutely AMAZING!