Just needing to write...

Ok... I'm having one of my insecure moments, so I figured I would just write. It's her again. Intellectually I know she's not a threat anymore, but in every other way I don't know that. I know he loves me, but they've slipped before. Knowing exactly what she is going through, so much it scares the living crap out of me! If I had had someone there for me like he is for her... well lets just say things would have been easier for me. But I know that I would have clung to that person and got emotionally involved in more than a friendship way. Knowing what I would have done is what scares me the most. If I were in her shoes I would be yearning for more, because he's listening to my problems and genuinely caring about me and my life. They become more close each time a "crisis" comes up. I worry that maybe it might eventually lead to being TOO close. Paranoid? maybe. But he's the best thing that has ever happened to me, and if I came after her... it would kill me. The thought eats me up inside. I understand that she needs a friend, and having a guy around for certain things is good but... I guess I just wish that maybe there were more guys so prevalent in her life other than him. The thought of loosing him bring me to tears. Its very frustrating to feel this way, because I KNOW that he loves me and only me. I KNOW that the only things that come before me are God and his schooling. I KNOW that he wouldn't ever hurt me. But yet I still worry on occasion. Maybe its the distance... Maybe it's just the history... I don't know. But I guess I do have prayer and it'll help my insecurities... shrink anyway.