Lightbulb moment(s)

So I spent the last 5 days or so at my parent's in South Jordan (SO much fun). It meant a 5 1/2 hour drive home yesterday though. I blast my tunes the whole way. And as I listed to this 1 song called "Kiss You Tonight" by David Nail (LOVE this song) I had an incredible light bulb moment. The song really is about that love that you let go of and realize that you messed up and want that back. But for me it had a whole new meaning, particularly the chorus. Here are the words...

I've been trying to do without you
But I can't give up this fight
Everything will be alright
If I can kiss you tonight
We can make it to tomorrow
If we can find the morning light
Everything will be alright
If I can kiss you tonight

These words hit me like a truck. Our 2 year mark is approaching very quickly and I suddenly realized I'd been trying to get through it all on my own. Stupid I know, but that's me Miss Independent. Anyway I realized as I was driving up Spanish Fork Canyon that I need my amazing husband. I've been trying to do this without him, and in reality everything will be alright so long as I have him there. I don't know why it didn't click in my brain until I had listened to this song like 10 times (yep it was a favorite before this). I am not giving up on this fight, but everything will be alright as long as I have Jared.

Take a listen to the whole song. TOTALLY worth listening to.

And honestly as long as I have him nothing else matters. I realized that as I was chatting with my brother's fiance about marriage and such. We were talking about why you get married. And I told her that the only thing that mattered to me when I was dating and engaged to Jared was being with him. All I wanted was to be with him, every morning as I woke up and every night as I fell asleep. That is what was important to me, not the reception and everything that goes with that, it was the marriage. I guess I needed to remember that so that I can come to terms with things as that 2 year mark comes, because really as much as I want that it is Jared that I really want. With him nothing else matters. 

As I move forward now, my goal is to lean on him more and re-ignite the flame so to say. Because lets face it we're awesome together. Together we are unstoppable. There is definitely more we could be doing in this fight, but we need to team up and do it TOGETHER.

I guess the point of all this is that I love Jared, being with him is all that really matters, and as long as I have him everything will be alright.