#23

Describe a dark/turbulent moment in your life...


Well the one that comes to mind is the summer and into fall of 2009, other wise know as "the summer from hell". It was the summer that I took Organic Chemistry (for the 3rd time by the way) up at Weber State University.  Here I was living at home again after being away at SUU for 3 years, sharing a room with my teenage sister, and attending classes over an hour drive away. I woke up at 6 am just to make it to class up in South Ogden. I would then hit up the library on campus and study for HOURS. Needless to say I didn't have a life whatsoever. I spent 2 hours everyday driving back and forth from class. I spent every day alone pretty much.
I was "friended" by a guy I was head over heels for (looking back I wonder why and consider myself very lucky it didn't turn out) towards the beginning of the summer. It kind of took a toll on me because he was such a good friend and I knew we would never really be friends.
Because of school I didn't do anything except study, attend class, sleep, and go to church on Sundays. My friend Jessica said to me as summer went on "all the light is gone from your eyes" (well something like that anyway). And it was absolutely true. I felt like life had no meaning. I stopped reading my scriptures and almost never prayed.
School started again at SUU (I had maybe a week break between WSU & SUU by the way) and things weren't getting any better. I was living with 4 freshmen and here I was a Senior whose friends had all graduated (by the way loved my freshmen roommates). I still had a broken heart and hadn't been able to move on. My friend/roommate Nicole said I should just cut him out of my life and stop putting myself through what I was going through. So I did. I hid him on facebook and told him I couldn't talk to him anymore. Then I became close to another guy... let's call him "Bad Guy" who I reconnected with. Not smart. He was the one I had my first alcoholic drink with. He thought I wanted a relationship, I just wanted a fling(I was graduating in December after all) and something to take away the emptiness. OH I met Jared that semester, thought he was quite the catch and pointed him out to my roommate. BIG MISTAKE! He then asked her out! Finally a guy that was a good guy and someone I liked and what happened... HE ASKS OUT MY ROOMMATE! Then it doesn't work out with them and I have to play middle man. Seriously, what the crap. I then decided to make some changes in my life and pull myself out of the gutter.
I am sure this doesn't sound all that bad, but during the time it was.